Halloween Funny Jokes for you to enjoy!
Let's
laugh together
Here are really funny jokes submitted by Meeting Land members:
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 1
What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 2
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A Hoblin Goblin!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 3
What is Dracula's blood type?
The same as his lunch!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 4
Why do vampires brush their fangs?
They don't want to have bat breath!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 5
What goes "Ha-ha-ha-ha!", thud?
A monster laughing it's head off!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 6
What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime...
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 7
What is a ghosts favorite place on the web?
www.MeetingLand.com
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 8
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
She woke up too early in the mourning.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 9
What's a ghoul's favorite breakfast cereal?
Rice Creepies.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 10
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 11
What's a vampire's favorite feast?
Fangsgiving Day dinner.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 12
How do you piss off a vampire?
Go to his house and install a skylight!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 13
How do you rid a Ghost from your house?
Ask him to split the rent!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 14
Who was the most famous ghost detective?
Sherlock Moans.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 15
What is a vampire's pet peeve?
A Tourniquet!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 16
What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 17
Why don't witches ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 18
How do you fix a broken jack-o'-lantern?
With a "pumpkin patch"!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 19
What do they teach in witching school?
Spelling.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 20
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 21
What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 22
What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
HelloHelloHello!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 23
How do you tell if a ghost is lying?
You can see right through him.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 24
What instrument does a skeleton play?
A trombone.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 25
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
It depends on what you want to change it into.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 26
Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Mali-boo.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 27
When does a ghost have breakfast?
In the moaning.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 28
What do you call a gay guy turned on by a witch?
Scared straight!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 29
What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 30
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 31
How do mummies hide?
They wear masking tape!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 32
What do you call a witch's garage?
A broom closet.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 33
What do you call a guy turned on by a witch?
Scared stiff!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 34
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 35
What directions did the ghost give the goblin?
Make a fright turn at the corner.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 36
Why is there always a fence around a cemetery?
People are just dying to get in!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 37
What kind of pets do ghosts have?
Scaredy Cats!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 38
What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 39
How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
He draws your blood with a straw!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 40
What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries...
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 41
Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they don't have any body to go out with.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 42
Why did the vampire's lunch give her heartburn?
It was a stake sandwich.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 43
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 44
What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A boo-tie.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 45
Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating?
Women can see right through them!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 46
What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 47
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 48
What do you call serious rocks?
Grave stones.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 49
How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Give him screws.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 50
What do skeletons say before eating?
Bone Appetite!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 51
What's a ghosts favorite desert?
Boo-berry pie.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 52
Why can't witches have babies?
Because their husbands have "Hollow-Weenies"!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 53
What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 54
When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 55
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 56
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 57
How do ghosts fly from one place to another?
By scareplane.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 58
Why did the Polish vampire starve to death?
He kept biting his own lip.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 59
Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid to relax and unwind.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 60
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 61
What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 62
What's a Vampire's favorite fruit?
NECKtarine!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 63
What do little trees say on Halloween?
Twig or treat.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 64
Why did a vampire go to the dentist?
To get rid of his over bite.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 65
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 66
Why does a witch ride a broom?
Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 67
Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank?
He was caught drinking on the job!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 68
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 69
Why was the little ghost crying?
Because he had a BOO-BOO!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 70
Why don't vamps like Red Cross?
They can't stand the competition.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 71
What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?
Hallowieners.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 72
Where do ghosts shop?
In boo-tiques!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 73
Why did the headless horseman go into business?
He wanted to get ahead in life.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 74
Why didn't the Jack-O-Lantern go to the dance?
He wasn't lit and didn't have a match!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 75
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 76
Why wasn't the vampire working?
He was on his coffin break.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 77
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle his funny bone!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 78
What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
Coffee with scream and sugar.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 79
Why couldn't the mummy answer the phone?
Because he was all wrapped up!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 80
What kind of shoes do baby ghosts wear?
Boo-ties!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 81
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 82
What do goblins mail home while on vacation?
Ghost cards.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 83
What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
A toasty ghosty.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 84
How do vampires invite each other out for lunch?
Do you want to go for a bite?
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 85
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They all come out at night.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 86
Why did the Vampire subscribe to www.MeetingLand.com ?
He heard it had great circulation.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 87
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn't have a haunting license.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 88
What song does Dracula hate?
"You Are My Sunshine"
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 89
Who was the most famous French skeleton?
Napoleon bone-apart
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 90
What is a vampires favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 91
What is a witch with poison ivy called?
An itchy witchy.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 92
What did one vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue?
Let's stop in for a cool one!
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 93
What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 94
What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 95
Where does a ghost refuel his porche?
At a ghastly station.
Really funny joke - Halloween joke 96
What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Other free funny ads and jokes!
